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雅思真题写作(范文讲评1)
来源:  发布时间:2011-01-05 00:00:00  点击:1005

      

   话题多、题材广、时间紧、要求高的议论文写作一直是雅思写作中的难点,思维狭窄、词汇不足也一直是中国考生的通病,如何在议论文写作中拓宽思路?怎样背诵8000个雅思词汇?备考雅思写作的误区和应对方法又是什么?我们在此特设“雅思真题范文讲评”栏目,邀请杭城雅思名师罗祖根老师为大家答疑解惑,希望海外学院的同学们积极参与,踊跃投稿,一起备考雅思考试。

题目1:Motorized flight is the most important invention in the modern world. Not any other invention has such a significant impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

(Version One)

Human civilization has progressed along with discoveries and inventions among which motorized flight, to my mind, can be acknowledged as one of the most important inventions of mankind.

The aviation industry began in 1903 when Wright brothers made the world's first successful airplane flights. Since then, airplanes have affected the lives of people almost everywhere. Giant airliners carry passengers, cargo and mail between the world’s major cities in a matter of hours and have made great contribution to the development of the tourist industry and world’s economy. In agriculture, farmers use airplanes to seed fields, or spray insecticides, covering hundreds of hectares of land.

Aviation has also changed modern warfare that now depends more on the instant striking power of jet fighters and bombers and the rapid supply capabilities of jet transports. The recent war on Iraq is a case in point. In space exploration, on the other hand, the mission of Apollo 11 to land two men on the moon and Mars’s exploration Rover Mission would not be possible without the super motorized flight – spacecraft.

   However, along with the development of airliners, new challenges have been created. The air disasters could cause heavy loss of life. Airliner hijacking also becomes a serious problem throughout the world. And we cannot forget the 911 Terrorist attacks on the WTC buildings. But can we say that the motorized flight is not a major invention of the modern world, in comparison with its benefits and influence rendered on the people of the world?   (250 words)

 

(Version Two)

Technopolitan man is on the go and we can expect the pace and scope of mobility to increase as motorized flight has shrunk the globe. It is no exaggeration to note, in my opinion, that aviation is the most important invention of the modern world. It has a far-reaching influence on the economic, social, and political climate of the 21st century.

The airplane is a vital machine in the transportation system. It facilitates the production and distribution of a nation's goods and services. It also furnishes employment for a large number of people. The rise of the airplane has affected other industries as well. Airways make it possible for people to enjoy fresh fruit and vegetables from faraway places.

Besides affecting economic life, aviation has had an important impact on the individual's relationship with society. It has speeded up communication by making person-to-person contact easier. It has altered recreational habits as well. A person on vacation can see historic and scenic sites thousands of miles away within a short time.

In the field of political life, aviation has had a great influence. As people are brought closer together, it is hoped that their understanding of each other would grow accordingly. Today, there are summit conferences attended by many government officials all over the world, thanks to speedy air travel.

In summary, motorized flight has affected people’s lives nearly in every respect and its future influence will be boundless when man’s dream of flying to the other planets becomes a reality.  (250 words)

 

(Version Three)

   The motorized flight, to my mind, is one of the major inventions of the modern world. But when we look into the aviation industry, we find that it is a systematic and complicated project, embodying numerous other inventions.

As we know, the way for a new invention is prepared by all the previous related inventions and discoveries. The father of aviation, Wright brothers, for example, could make the world's first flight only because there was a long series of inventions before it, including the glider, the experience of pioneers in that and all the scientific knowledge of aeronautics then available. 

    A distinguishing feature of 21st century research is that it represents systematized invention. To produce and operate airplanes requires the skills of millions of workers in many countries--from the engineers who design the planes to the mechanics and pilots who service and fly them. Many government agencies also work to make flying safer and more dependable.

The manufacture of aircraft, together with the Aviation support industries and its related electronic equipment makes up the aviation industry. For instance, some aviation support industries provide a wide variety of supplies and services to airlines, airports, pilots, and passengers. Some companies furnish repair services or fuel for airplanes. Various food services prepare meals to be served on passenger flights. Weather bureaus supply pilots with weather information.

In conclusion, motorized flight is and will be one of the most important inventions of the modern world, yet it embodies the accumulated wisdom of mankind.          (250 words)

 

 (Version Four)

    Motorized flight is one of the major important inventions of the modern world, but in comparison with the invention of the computer, it ranks very much the second in its cost, popularity and utility.

    Aviation has a history of over a hundred years while the computer only covers less than half a century and its constant renewing gives it a new life in a matter of a few months’ time. While aviation is still a luxury for the few, the cost of a computer might be one return ticket from China to Britain.

The popularity of the computer is incomparable to aviation. From a few dozen companies in the early 1960's, the computer industry has grown to more than 10,000 firms throughout the world. By the mid-1990's, experts estimated that more than 50 million computers were linked to the information superhighway - the Internet.

    In terms of utility, if we compare the motorized flight to the wings, then the computer is the brain. The spaceship is able to land on the moon with its powerful wings, but without the computerized instruments, it cannot send back abundant useful information, and even the scientists at base could hardly know its whereabouts.

To sum up, actually it is a difficult task to give a reasonable rating to motorized flight or the computer because every invention is a crystal of wisdom of human race and everything has its utility. Can you imagine what will happen if one screw fixed on the spaceship becomes loose?   (250 words)


The author’s comment on the analysis of four compositions(作文讲评):

The above four versions of Task Two Composition based on the topic “Motorized flight is the most important invention in the modern world. Not any other invention has such a significant impact on our lives.” that appeared in one of the actual ielts writing tests look into the subject matter from four different angles.

The organization of the four compositions is similar: the introduction paragraph containing two elements – restating the topic from different perspectives and the writer’s point of view

The body consisting two or three paragraphs offers reasoning and facts to support the thesis, employing proper connectives, the repetition of the keywords to give a smooth transition.

The concluding paragraph restates the thesis, using different wording.